The Moorhill Monitor
* Volume
10 / Issue 2 / Date 2nd Quarter 2001 *
In this
Issue:
[Nails in the
Fence]
[Stimulate Your Brain]
[ISO 9001:2000 - Official]
[ISO
and the IRS]
[All I Need To Know]
Moorhill International Group, Inc.
Fostering International Relations Through Commerce
Providing sound implementation strategies
Offering extensive training / auditing services
Integrating TL 9000 and/or AS 9000/9100 systems |
Assisting with on-site baseline assessments
Reviewing existing documentation
Inspiring company-wide adoption methods |
1. Nails
in the Fence!
There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of
nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail
into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the
fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number
of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier
to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day
came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all.
He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out
one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and
the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were
gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said,
"You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The
fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar
just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't
matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there. A verbal
wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They
make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share
words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us."
Source:
Anonymous, 03/01
2. Stimulate Your
Brain!
The following is an actual question given on a University
of Washington chemistry mid term. The answer
by
one student was so “profound” that the professor shared it with his
colleagues, via the internet, which is of course, why we now have the pleasure
of enjoying it as well.
BONUS QUESTION:
Is hell exothermic (gives
off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat) ???
Most
of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s
Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed
or some variant. One student wrote the following:
First, we need to know
how the mass of hell is changing in time. So we need the rate souls are moving
into hell and the rate that souls and they are leaving.
I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell it will
not leave. Therefore no souls are leaving. As for how many are entering hell,
lets look at the different
religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to
hell.
Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not
belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in
hell to increase exponentially.
Now
we look at the rate of change of
the volume in hell because Boyle’s Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the
same, the volume has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This
gives two possibilities:
1.
If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter hell, ten the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all
hell breaks lose.
2.Of
course, if hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.
So
which is it ?? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan
during my freshman year,.. “… that it will be a cold day in hell before I
sleep with you.”, and take into account the fact that I still have not
succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and
thus I am sure that hell is exothermic and will not freeze.
The student received the
only “A” given.
3. ISO 9001:2000 -
Official!
Officially
released on December 13, 2000 the revised 2000 series of ISO 9000 standards
is approved and available for purchase through ASQ at 1-800-248-1946. There will be a
three year settling in period as Registrars, companies and auditors learn the
new requirements under the re-structured process flow (see below) model.
ISO 9000:2000 - definitions.
ISO 9001:2000 - requirements.
ISO 9004:2000 - guidelines.
Source: US TAG - TC 176, 12/00.
4. ISO
and the IRS?
The Internal Revenue Service has come to the same
conclusion as the rest of the business community -- ISO 9000 certification is
both a real productivity tool and a legitimate business expense. In
their ruling, however, they carved out some expenses that might not be
deductible. What they have determined is that any asset created or
acquired that has a useful life substantially beyond the tax year, such as
creation of a quality manual, represents a cost that may not be deductible.
This opens the entire ISO documentation arena to IRS scrutiny.
ISO Coordinators and/or Management Representatives should
seek guidance from their ISO consultants and with their accountants or tax
advisors. In general, though, the following guidelines may help you with
your analysis:
1) Quality Manual -- The quality manual is designed
as a strategic tool for the business with an intended life of from 2-5 years
depending upon the product/service line, the industry and the marketplace.
2) Quality Procedures -- Are tactical tools, which
change, or are modified, as circumstances dictate. These would usually
classify as normal business deductions.
3) Work Instructions -- Manufacturer manual
information, if incorporated into work instructions may not be deductible (but
may not represent a significant cost). General work instructions are
tactical and subject to changes brought about through suggestion programs,
internal and external audits and internal innovation. As such they would
usually qualify as normal business deductions.
4) Records/Forms -- Forms may have a life cycle in
excess of a tax year, but are subject to constant change in the normal course
of business. Costs related to records management should be reviewed for
compliance. In many cases, forms and records change frequently to keep
up with both customer tenders and with internal innovation.
Organizations seeking certification and those already
registered should consider just what "assets" fall into the longer
useful life category, and which don't. Costs incurred for those items
having a long useful life should be tracked and recorded, so as to avoid IRS
challenges.
Information: http://www.irs.gov
5. All I Need To
Know!
All
I need to know, I learned from Noah's Ark ...
One.
Don't miss the boat.
Two.
Remember that we are all in the same boat.
Three.
Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.
Four.
Stay fit. When you're 600 years old someone may ask you to do
something really big.
Five.
Don't listen to critics, just get on with the job that needs to be done.
Six.
Build your future on high ground.
Seven.
For safety's sake travel in pairs.
Eight.
Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
Nine.
When you're stressed, float awhile.
Ten.
Remember the Ark was built by amateurs, the Titanic by professionals.
Eleven.
No matter the storm, when you are with God there's always a rainbow waiting.
Source:
Anonymous - 04/01
Moorhill Monitor
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