The Moorhill Monitor
* Volume
9 / Issue 2 / Date 2nd Quarter 2000 *
In this
Issue:
[New Element]
[Tribute to the United States]
[The Revised ISO 9000 Process Model]
[Thought
Provokers]
[New Links]
Moorhill International Group, Inc.
Fostering International Relations Through Commerce
Providing sound implementation strategies
Offering extensive training / auditing services
Integrating TL 9000 and/or AS 9000/9100 systems |
Assisting with on-site baseline assessments
Reviewing existing documentation
Inspiring company-wide adoption methods |
1. New
Element!
The
heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by investigators
at a major U.S. research university. The element, tentatively named
Administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of
0. However, it does have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons,
and 111 assistant vice neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 312.
These
312 particles are held together by a force that involves the continuous
exchange of meson-like particles called morons. It is also surrounded by vast
quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since
it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be detected
chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with.
According
to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium causes One
reaction to take over four days to complete when it would have normally
occurred in less than one second.
Administratium
has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which
time it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which
assistant neutrons, vice neutrons, and assistant vice neutrons exchange
places.
In
fact, an Administratium sample's mass actually INCREASES over time, Since
with each reorganization some of the morons inevitably become neutrons,
forming new isotopes.
This
characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to Speculate
that perhaps Administratium is spontaneously formed whenever morons reach a
certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to
as "critical morass."
Source:
Anonymous (of course!), 05/00.
2. Tribute to the
United States!
This
December 19, 1999 excerpt from a Canadian newspaper,
is worth sharing. America: The Good Neighbor.
Widespread, but only partial, news coverage was given recently to a remarkable
editorial broadcast from Toronto by Gordon Sinclair, a Canadian television
commentator. What follows is the
full text of his trenchant
remarks as printed in the Congressional
Record:
This
Canadian thinks it is time to speak up for the Americans as the most generous
and possibly the least appreciated people on all the earth.
Germany, Japan and,
to a lesser extent, Britain and Italy, were
lifted out of the debris of war by the Americans who poured in billions of
dollars and forgave other billions in debts.
None of these countries is today paying
even the interest on its remaining debts to the United States.
When
the franc was in danger of collapsing in 1956, it was the Americans who
propped it up, and their reward was to be insulted and swindled on the streets
of Paris. I was there. I saw it. when
earthquakes hit distant cities, it is the United States that hurries in to
help. This spring, 59 American
communities were flattened by tornadoes. Nobody helped.
The
Marshall Plan and the Truman Policy pumped billions of dollars into
discouraged countries. Now newspapers
in those countries are writing about the decadent, warmongering Americans. I'd
like to see just one of those countries that is gloating over the erosion of
the United States dollar build its own airplane.
Does any other country in the world
have a plane to equal the Boeing Jumbo Jet, the Lockheed Tri-Star, or the
Douglas 10? If so, why don't
they fly them? Why do all the
International lines
except Russia fly American planes? Why does no other land on earth even
consider putting a man or woman on the moon?
You talk about Japanese technocracy,
and you get radios. You
talk about German
technocracy, and you get automobiles. You
talk about
American technocracy, and you find men on the moon - not once, but several
times - and safely home again.
You
talk about scandals, and the Americans put theirs right in the store window
for everybody to look at. Even their draft-dodgers are not pursued
and hounded. They
are here on our streets, and most of them, unless they are breaking Canadian
laws, are getting American dollars from ma and pa at home to spend here. When
the railways of France, Germany and India were breaking down through age, it
was the Americans who rebuilt them. When
the Pennsylvania Railroad and the New
York Central went broke, nobody loaned them an old caboose.
Both are still broke.
I
can name you 5,000 times when the Americans raced to the
help of other people in trouble. Can
you name me even
one time when someone else raced to the Americans in trouble?
I don't think there was outside help even during
the San Francisco earthquake. Our
neighbors have
faced it alone, and I'm one Canadian who is damned tired of hearing them get
kicked around. They will
come out of this thing with their flag high.
And when
they do, they are entitled to thumb their nose at the lands that are gloating
over their present troubles. I
hope Canada is not one of those."
Stand
proud, Americans!
Source: Gordon Sinclair, 12/99.
3. The Revised ISO
Process Model!
Source: DIS 9001:2000, 11/99.
4. Thought
Provokers!
What
was the best thing before sliced bread?
Why
are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
If
a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
Is
it possible to be totally partial?
Can
you be a closet claustrophobic?
Do
you need a silencer to shoot a mime?
How
does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work every morning?
Why
doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Do
Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
Is
boneless chicken considered an invertebrate?
How
come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but he always
ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
Isn't
the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?
And
how do you know when you're out of invisible tape?
Source: D. Rigg, 05/00.
5. The Links!
We
have added new links to; Adobe Acrobat Reader, WinZip, and Internet Explorer.
Please visit the "Resources" page and see the vast array of new and
existing links. If you need information and cannot find it on our site please
let us know and we will go and find it!
Moorhill Monitor
1998 / 1999 / 2000 Archives
Moorhill International Group, Inc.
P. O. Box 26757
Tempe, AZ 85285, USA
480-491-2007 tel.
480-491-2101 fax
[Home] [Resources] [Services] [Feedback] [Clients] [Newsletter] [Contact MOORHILL]
Moorhill International Group, Inc.
email: info@moorhill.com
